London 29th June

Went for dinner with Hamsah and his girlfriend, Tengku Idzhureen...

Been so long since I've seen them. Hamsah called me out for drinks as soon as he knew I was in London. We went to this Irish place near Convent Garden and had really really good Irish fruit beers. I had raspberry and cherry beer that tasted like cough medicine, while Hamsah had normal lager beer and Idz had loads and loads of cocktails.

They may be Malays, but they sure as hell can drink better than me!

Paisehkan me only. Cheh.

After the drinks, we went to this German place and shared a pork knuckle dish. German pork knuckles are soooo sooooo soooo good! But not as good as the ones in Malaysia though, the German Bierhouse thingy in Damansara. Next dish I'm going to learn how to make is pork knuckles.

I told them that the Malays in my course didn't drink, nor eat pork and they burst out laughing. Heh. Thats the thing, I never knew Malays couldn't drink or eat pork or un-'sembelih'ed animals. Apparently its in the religion. I thought it was a personal choice, cos Zee told me before that he drinks but doens't really like it. And they were quite okay with me drinking in their presence.

Whoopedee doo... things I never knew.

Went back to the Malaysian Hall, and met up with Hui Fen, her brother, Kai and her friends, Steven and I forgot the other guy's name. We had just met at the train station and were pretty glad to be in the company of other Malaysians. She invited me to join them and watch DVDs and we had a lovely time chatting and pondering on evolution, the meaning of life and all sorts of pretty deep stuff.

I miss these kinds of conversations.

These days, I find myself getting more and more shallow. I find myself conforming more and more, trying harder to fit in. But in the end, what point is there, to be accepted by others and but not by yourself? Whats the point of making others happy but looking in the mirror, thinking, 'I don't know you anymore!'. There has got to be a compromise somewhere, maybe I'll find it soon.

Detaching myself and going away really does put things into perspective. It keeps me in touch with who I really am, what I really want in life, and not be influenced into wanting what others think I should want. There's a huge difference in that.

The company you keep plays a huge role in shaping you into the person that you are.