Let it be

You would have thought that I would have learnt my lesson by now.

But no, I've done it all over again.

I've said too much. Stepped my foot into where it shouldn't belong. I should've just shut up and let it be.

Sometimes people are like caterpillars in a cocoon. They need to struggle a little and figure things out for themselves so that they can emerge the proud and victorious butterflies that they're meant to be.

the stance against war begins at home

Not too long ago I watched The Kingdom with my husband.

It was disturbing, not so much because of the blood and the gore, but by the fact that it was inspired by the bombings at the Riyadh compound on May 12, 2003 and the Khobar housing complex on June 26, 1996 in Saudi Arabia, a rendition of "what-might-have-beens" and "what-could-be's".

The most horrifying part?

The end, where both parties resolutely said the very same thing - "we're going to kill them all"

And I felt a cold chill run down my spine.

Some days I scratch my head and wonder, why did no one tell me the truth? Why does no one admit that things are really more complicated than they seem? Why is everything so conveniently whitewashed, so easily separated into blacks and whites?

Why are boys allowed to play guns and soldiers? Soldiers and guns and tanks and fighter planes kill people. Bullets rip through flesh and fathers fall to their knees, gasping for air. Bombs... planes even, rip though buildings, sending shrapnel, concrete and flames into innocent, unsuspecting people.

Is it in the name of democracy? Is it in the name of justice? Is it in the name of freedom?

Freedom rings hollow if it is gained by the shedding of innocent blood.

Perhaps there is a time and place for all things, but we have become all too familliar with bloodshed. All too efficient. We are too comfortable with violence. We like to watch explotions and rifle fire on bigscreen TV, where the good guys and the bad guys are so easily identified. Like Rambo.

But it doesn't work like that in reality. The 'good' guy has a month-old daughter and a wife at home. So does the 'bad' guy. Both call out the God with their dying breath. Where is God in all these?

Some days I wonder what it would be if war broke out near our homes. I wonder if the terror, the violence, and the bloodshed would be enough to bring us back to our senses, when the soldiers fight on our very own streets and we realise that they're not our well-trained killing machines... they're our sons and daughters, our brothers and sisters, our friends.

When bullets tear through our windows and a bomb turns our house and family into collateral damage, then perhaps we'll realise what an ugly thing war is. Maybe then we won't give our children toy guns and toy soldiers. Maybe then we won't let them play death. Maybe then we'll have a better understanding of peace and brotherhood. Maybe then we can let the hatred melt away, let the stereotypes fall, let our own selfishness and self-righteousness dissappear.

I just hope the realisation sets in before it's too late.

A wise person once told me this:

... your life is your own. it's just more comforting to have someone accompany you down whichever road you choose.

oklah, depending on what you believe, even if there is a Hand steering you onto certain paths, nothing productive can come from blaming the Hand kan?

you know you can't do everything at once. can't have one foot on different paths.

but what you can do, is avoid staying too long once dissatisfaction sets in along whichever road you take. you can't control what is thrown at you, but you sure can control whether or not you want to "siam" any further crap thrown on that path.

never stay unhappy too long. that's a choice you can control.

big hugs for you, cos you're wiser than most. =)

Babysteps

Some time ago last year when I said that I wanted to keep this blog private for friends only.

Well, I lied. Sort of.

It was private, all right. But I never invited anyone else to read it.

My only excuse is: my husband (yeap, husband) bought me a macbook and I don't know how to use it.

But thats not all true either.

I guess in a way I just wanted to run away and hide. I literally eloped to a land far far away and kept my distance. Immersed myself in my 'career', in my marriage, in everything else. I just wanted to do was disappear...

It's been awhile.

And all I've written so far in the year are emails to clients, business correspondence and press releases.

My writing has gone from bad to worse. It will be awhile before I gather my momentum and really start writing again.

But for now, i've shifted the gears from neutral.