All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

The cakes are in the oven, I've got my tickets and.... *jeng*jeng*jeng*

I'm off to London tomorrow!

Oh and by the by, my article did get published! La dee da. Got picture some more. Hehe.

My 2 week holiday itinery thats been planned so far:

30th August
Off to London
Dinner with James at Belgos

31st August
Cover Merdeka celebrations
Interviews
Off to Jason's

1st-3rd September
Roam happily around London
Go for the WatchThisSpace Festival at the National Theatre (sounds like fun)
Meet up with other friends (if they're back)

3rd September
Train to Edinburgh
2100 check in Edinburgh hostel
Daniel suggested I try haggis and get free scotch shots when I tour the distilleries...
*happy exited face*

4th September
Day out with Kenny - the first guy I ever kissed, though not my first love... =P

5th September
Tour St Andrews

also, try a Fisher and Donaldson custard slice

6th September
Join the Rosslyn Chapel and DaVinci code tour

or

tour Loch Ness

7th September
Bid a sad adieu to bonnie olde Scotland and its back to London for girly furly days out with Yennie my hunny bunny!!!!

8th September - 10th September
Girls days shopping and nights out partying
Chit chatting until the wee hours in the morning
Looksee home decor and wedding planning!! Yeay!

11th September - 15th September
Newcastle with my very first guy friend Vicks
Gastronomical adventures together
Nothing much planned for Newcastle, so if anyone out there can give suggestions it would be great!

Other than that... today was pretty eventful. Went shopping for stuff to pass to Yennie for my brothers and sister. Came back with a horrid headache from lugging two huge bags of stuff.

Then went berry picking with Shin Yee... I picked a handful of berries, the girl picked one plasticbagful! hehe..

Also had Sudi and Prema over for masak masak session, was rather fun!!! But only because I'm bossy and like ordering people around. We baked 2 banana cakes and a walnut bread, one cake for us, the rest for me to bring for my friends in London. Yippedee doodah..

And now am so sleepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

but I CANNOT, MUST NOT sleep.

Because if I sleep, then I'd never be able to wake up in time to catch my 9am bus to London.

*groans*

It's only 11.30pm...

Its gonna be a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong night.

Luckily Syukor lent me his GTO to watch.

And then I don't feel so bad...

I finished my assignment just in time with an extra one hour yesterday...

*big grin*

Shin Yee helped a lot. She cooked for me and washed the dishes, waving me away from the kitchen, saying "go do your work, I clean up for you"

Then she came upstairs later to help me label my appendices and proof read my assignment, with an encouraging, "this is a good piece" to motivate me further.

Today she cooked porridge for me and held my hands while I shivered in fear after the call. And yes, she also did the dishes.

I know you love me, Shin Yee!

* * *

Linda, Sudi, Prema, Hema, Shin Yee and I went to watch 'Unleased' to celebrate our 'Merdeka' from the wretched assignments. We went for lovely veggie pizzas and cheesy wraps. Hema and Prema belanja-ed me because I helped them print their assignments, and they made it just under 10 minutes after the deadline.

* * *

Prema collected my mail for me and I got a beautiful fairy card from Chewy today, but the message was so much more beautiful that I ended up putting it up on the wall message side up.

I was so touched by what she wrote that I actually cried. Because I missed her so much.

* * *

I also received a postcard from Raymond! The lucky bugger has been travelling the world and happily, sending me postcards along the way. This one is from Sydney. I still want a keychain though *hint*hint*

* * *

I spent some time with Linda tonight as well. I was never close to her before this, and always thought that she was a bit 'garang', but now that I'm discovering a completely new side of her, and I must say I really like her. We love a lot of the same books, and I dig her brand of humour. She had me in stiches just now whilst we were talking about men and exchanging fashion tips. She loaned me two books.

=)

* * *

Jason just called to let me know that he's going back to Malaysia for good. We talked a bit, caught up with the old times, and it was really good to hear from him again.

* * *

Vicks called and invited me over to Newcastle, where I'm going to spend 5 days with him and his friends. He was the first guy friend I ever had.

* * *

I'm also probably going to meet the first guy I ever kissed in Edinburgh. If he makes has the time to travel down to Edinburgh from Fife, where he lives. And yes, he's Scottish.

I can't wait to see how much he's changed. Its been 5 years since....

* * *

And I REFUSE to let one incident ruin such a beautiful day.

EXAM TOMORROW...

... and I haven't done a thing to prepare.

Instead, I cooked tomyam today, rang up Doreen and invited her and Shin Yee to eat. While they ate, I finished half of a 2 litre tub of ice cream while talking, and a whole 200g bar Cadbury milk chocolate.

And you know la, when girls get together... wah liao juicy gossip session. Hehe. I've been so out of touch I wasn't even aware of so many thing happening. Sheesh.

After lunch, Doreen and I planned tomorrow's dinner, and then we went to her place, and ended up cooking dinner at her place... had my beef stock and we made to eat with beef mushroom soup to eat with noodles. Doreen's bf Kai brought chicken tikka, and we also grilled some beefburgers with loads and loads of cheese! Yummy!

Of course another major gossip session and moaning about job woes and talking about our lecturers. I think one of my lecturers hate me though. Well not hate, but I don't think she's overly fond of me... *sobs*

Ah well...

We went over to my place and had ice cream again. I finished up my choccies and Kai had more ice cream. Talked about future plans and stupid recordings we made of ourselves a few months ago. Was just looking through it, and my oh my, eeyikes! we were all so much thinner then!

Ended up not doing any studying... *sigh*

Oh and by the way I went to Flambards yesterday. It was fun! I love amusement parks! I went on the thriller rides like 3 times in a row, took crazy pictures of ourselves, Amyr puked a little.

I sort of got over my fear of heights by doing some sort of super high (I had to climb 4 flights of very steep steps) freefall thing (its like a 90 degree angle with a curve at the bottom)... omigod that was so so so scary, its not so much the falling thats scary, but the letting go and jumping off the ledge without protection. I couldn't even get down the 70 degree angle slide without clutching the edges until the skin on my palms were raw... and this is like... whoah... as i slid down the curve my bones felt like jelly. And its funny that I actually love the whole Solero drop thing in Genting, but I really can't do it... I'm actually shaking now at the memory of actually jumping off the ledge!

Can you imagine what those suicides were thinking as they debated to jump or not to jump?

There was this point where Amyr, Leli and I were supposed to jump together, I lowered myself but couldn't let go of the edge, holding on for dear life, dangling there until the people waiting for their turn had to pull me back up.

Even with the knowledge that people do this for fun and that it's 100% safe, I was so terrified. Those people must have been so so so down and hopeless that they would actually consider doing something like that...

Oh well... but I'm happy to report that I managed to do it twice. Telling myself over and over and over again that I could do it. Mind over matter. Telling myself that if I don't do it, I'll never get over the fear.

But the thing is, I'm still scared!!

I had nightmares last night. Its not so much the falling, the falling I can take, the falling I kinda like, it's the letting myself fall... knowing that once I fall, there's not going back up again.

It's just scary.

My friends were chiding me about that, like, "eh, all that thriller rides and all that you suka, but this one also cannot ah?"

Pretty ironic, innit, I don't mind being spun and dangled upside down at the top of a say, 60 feet drop, provided that I'm securely tucked in with belts and safety harnesses, but I can't even let myself go at a 40 feet freefall drop.

It must be something deep and psychoanalitical-able about it... but I'm not in the mood to analyse myself.

Not today.

I just need to get this out of my system. The flashbacks are horrible.

But I did it. Twice.

I say thats something I should be pretty darned proud about. Because I managed to conquer that fear, even if just for awhile.

*puff*

Okay, okay... back to mugging for the exams!

Friday's child...

What day were you born?

Monday's child is fair of face,

Tuesday's child is full of grace,

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go,

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child must work for a living,

But the child that's born on the Sabbath day
Is fair and wise and good and gay.

Does it tally with that old rhyme?

* * *

PS: Prolly won't be posting again till next week.. wanna cry already, so much work to do, and I haven't touched anything.

Must. Stop. Procrastinating.

* * *

Not funny okay... I have:

an EXAM on Tuesday
two 3,000 word assignments to hand in on Thursday

Did I mention that I haven't done a thing? Nope, not even reading or looking up resources!!

*panics sial*

Ooh! My friend Roy got featured in The Star Metro for his roast lamb!!

I never liked lamb before that but this lamb dish is so so so so good that I became a lamb convert! Seriousss... anyone wants the recipe can ask me, cos Mak passed the recipe to me as well.

Yummy.

Can't wait for Christmas when I'm planning to cook Roy's lamb dish. Oh yeah, pictures:


Roast lamb leg, that potato thing and buttered peas

and here's a picture of Roy cooking.


Roy in his state of d-art kitchen (seriously I love his kitchen, all sorts of "keng-chau" electrical appliances there)

Gosh, I so so so miss weekend movie marathon sessions of Battlestar Galactica and Justice League at his place, or going out with the group to watch movies or just yamchar sessions.

I used to borrow his Terry Pratchett books...

*miss home*

Sure fire ways to irritate your room/housemates

I'm not the best housemate/roommate in the world, but still, there are some things that just irritates the hell out of me.

So I've compiled a list of things that annoy me, and yes, I am aware that I'm just as guilty of committing some of them as anyone else.

Heh. Feel free to add more.

* * *

1. Leave your wet towel on their bed

2. Invite people over to the whilst your roommates/housemates are sleeping and make a lot of noise

3. Leave dirty dishes/bits of leftover food in the sink

4. Pry into their private lives/read their letters/rummage through their drawers

5. Dance/jump around upstairs so the people downstairs can't sleep thinking the ceiling might cave in, also, storming up and down the stairs at 2 a.m. in the morning

6. Move their stuff in the fridge

7. Not scrub the charred bits of your cooking off the pan when you wash it

8. Slam the door while your roommates are sleeping/play loud music after 1 a.m.

9. Snore (I know it can't be helped, but its irritating as hell!)

10. Borrow their clothes without permission, or worse, 'borrowing' their underwear.

Food offerings...

Just made another batch of 24 blueberry muffins, one for each of my friends.

Happy to report that they turned out pretty well.

No, this aren't my pictures... forgot to take pictures in my hurry to bake them before classes, but they looked exactly alike. ^_^

Raymond said it best.

"It's funny how people who cook actually eat very little in the meal, and would merely sit and watch people wolf down their gastronomical creations. It was such a great feeling! I mean, watching gluttons in KFC or Pizza Hut is disgusting, but anybody's more than welcome to be a glutton when eating the food you cooked. It was just... ahhh.... kiiimooochiiii (feeling in Japanese)... :D

In Japanese, if ur friends eat the food you cooked, the sentence would be "watashi wa tomodachi ni tabete moraimashita" which means literally, my friends eat and I received.

The seemingly sincere praise I got for my cooking... was the best compliment I could receive. Better than getting straight A's, achieving awards and all, for cooking for your friends meant also showing concern for them."

*beams happily*

And I definately received.

^_^

blueberry muffinicious!

As of now, I am enjoying a lovely blueberry muffin. Have a look...

Omigod, sooooo yummilicious! Even more so because I baked them myself! And for the first time, too!

It was moist in the inside, crumbly on the outside, light, milky sweetish with perfect contrast to the tartness of the blueberries. Definately a to-die-for blueberry muffin recipe. And my house smells oh-so-homely and welcoming...

*happy grin*

Definately a recipe I can see myself baking over and over again. Love it so much that I froze the other punnet of blueberries so that I can bake this again in the winter... and definately going to buy more blueberries next time I see them.

*skips around happily*

La la la

I love Edward Monkton. He's poignant, he's whimsical, and he packs a punch in his witty, seemingly innocent, words. Coating it with a sweet shell of humour, he manages showing us how powerful our powers of denial and how good we are at rationalising everything. I saw some of his books just now at a bookstore at Dartmouth, and ooh! I want them all!

Yep, I went to for a daytrip to Dartmouth today. Dartmouth is BEAUTIFUL! Its very quaint, with lots of old architecture, cobbled streets and friendly faces. I went to art gallery after art gallery, but my favourite was white sails. I appreciate simplictic art like those of Edward Monkton, Lucy Truman, Ruben Toledo, Lulu Guiness and Picasso. I don't know what genre they fall into, I just know I like them - the kind of art they put up in cafes and powder rooms.

I suddenly ter-inspired to start painting again.

Maybe I'll just stay in Plymouth during the hols, buy a set of paints and brushes and some canvas, and paint to my heart's content.

Or I'll stay at a B&B in Dartmouth for a week. So many quaint old bookstores not unlike what Scoob books used to be like, back when it was in Brickfields. And the breakfast at a french diner called Al Fresco (I think) was absolutely superb! I'm so addicted to mushroom, tomato, pepper and grilled cheese omelettes and french onion soup now.. And there was a guy playing guitar and singing old French songs there as well. It was lovely, sitting by the entrance, sipping probably the best hot chocolate I ever had, watching people walk their dogs by the embankment. Had to leave soon though, as there were people queueing up for a seat inside. Definately one of those places where I wouldn't mind going again and again and again.


Thats the embankment... it was misty and oh so idyllic...

Thats me at the embankment.

at Cafe Cache - joined the Japanese students for coffee

I also went to the Dartmouth Castle, which I thought was a complete waste of £2.70. Nothing much in there, just old walls and cannons and all that, at least, nothing I've never seen before. The view was beautiful though...

View from the top

I half expected to see mermaids lazily sunbathing here...

so many cannons!

Faizal, who's with the Arab Military, taught me how to hold a gun.

So yeah, had a great time at Dartmouth.

By the by, I also bought blueberries! They were on offer, two 200g punnets for £3. Am gonna bake blueberry muffins tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Foodie post

Yesterday I had honey sesame baked salmon. It was delish-ious, but I had a fever and no appetite that I had to force it down.

Damnit. The one time I decide to splurge and buy Young's super fatty, yummilicious, rich-in-Omega-3 melt-in-your-mouth salmon, I takde appetite. Grrrrr...

I had two fillets in a pack, marinated them together, but cooked them at different times, the Jack Daniels glazed one on the day before yesterday, and yesterday, the honey baked salmon. The Jack Daniels glazed salmon was *orgasm*.

Can you see that beautiful white marbled fat? Omigod, it was oh so heavenly. Super filling as well, had that for lunch, and there was no need for proper dinner after that (okay, I had two snickers bar for dinner, hehe)

Okay, recipe perfected liao. The next day, the thought of having more Jack Daniels salmon made me a bit sick, so racked my head (and supply cabinet) to see what I could do with it.

Aha! Found a pack of sesame seeds and a tiny jar of honey I took from Sheraton Belgravia the last time I stayed there. Washed Jack Daniels marinate off the salmon, glazed it with honey and coated it with sesame seeds. Then wrapped it in a foil and baked it.

Easy, simple, 20 minutes to cook meal.

Then had this incredible craving for vanilla ice cream. Realised that I was out of vanilla ice cream. Went around house to house like some Jehovah Witness apostate asking anyone if they had vanilla ice cream, but no one did.

And Aisyah remarked, "Eh, bukan you nak diet ke?"

Oops. Thanks for reminding me about my ever expanding waistline. Heh.

Unperturbed, I decided to WALK to Asda at 8 o'clock in the evening, knowing fully well it would be sundown soon. Made it back by 9pm.

All for the sake of vanilla ice cream. Can you believe it?

And today Prema and I decided to get on with our walking fitness/lets see what I can pick up at Asda programme. And guess what? I picked up a pack of 10 snacksize Snickers bar.

I think I'm trying to sabo myself. But why? damnit, WHY?!!

Holly Daze

My hols start on the 26th August till the 18th September...

But I have no place to go... and very limited budget to work with. My coursemates (practically ALL of them) signed up to join Kelana Convoy, but I wasn't too keen on the idea of visiting 8 countries in 16 days, so didn't. That also means that the Student Village here will be largely unoccupied.

Me scared to live alone for 3 weeks... *whimper*

Plus its not often that I get breaks. A bit wasted lorr, if 3 weeks hols also stay in Plymouth.

I wanted to go backpacking to Egypt, but friends have warned me not to, not very safe for a girl to travel alone there it seems...

I'd go to London, but Malaysian Hall only allows for 2 days stay maximum... and the friends I usually stay with are back in Malaysia.

Not forgetting that I only have a budget of £200-£250 to spend on holidays, which frankly ain't much, if you take into account the travelling expenses, accommodation, food, etc...

So can anyone suggest somewhere I can go that won't cost an arm, leg or any other body part, speaks English and is safe for a 5" nothing girl to travel alone, armed with nothing except a power packed scream and kitten heels to beat up big bullies?

Wedding bells a-ringing

See Ming got married. In fact, her wedding was featured on TV Smiths 2 sen thingy...

How wonderful is that? They look lovely together.

Looking at her wedding website brought tears in my eyes (yes, I'm super emo). To actually love someone like that, and be loved like that, love enough to want to spend your entire life with another person... thats magic, thats a miracle.

On another note, so is Yen... yes, my best friend is getting married, possibly next year.

The girl who never believed in love, the girl who swore that no man will tie her down, is now willing to devote her entire life and throw away her carreer to move to another country where she doens't know anyone, just to be with that one special man in her life.

I closed my eyes and made a wish. 2 wishes, actually.

... that they will be happy together, always ...

... and that one day, I too will see that miracle happen ...

A month later...

Was just reading the news, when the tributes to the 52 people killed in the bombing caught my eye. I cried reading what was said about them... warm loving words carved on ice cold stone.

It made me wonder what would then be said about me, should I be gone tomorrow? Did I make an impact on the lives on the people I've loved? Did my being here in this world make a difference, perhaps not in the world, but in the worlds of those whom I've had contact with...

At the very least, if I've brought a smile to someone's face, brightened up someone's day, or soothed a broken heart, and eased one life the aching... then I shall not have lived in vain.

At times like this I question.. I question the justice, or rather the injustice of life.

What wrong did they do to deserve this? Nothing. Tragedy knows not it's victims.

Same with the stories of the people who are still waiting on news of their loved ones. Sometimes I wonder if it's better not to know and keep hope alive, or whether the knowing is better, when there's no cause for hope anymore. Because hope hurts.

I feel for the victims. Watching the reports on TV, reading the stories... it's sad. And the saddest thing is that there's nothing we can do do to help them save for offering them moral support and being there. Which isn't much.

At times like these we are faced with our own mortality. That we don't know which hug, which smile or laughter will be our last. Nobody expected it to happen, and yet it did. It happened, and who knows what was the last thing they did... would they regret the petty quarrel they had last night? Or would their last memory of the dead be that of sorrow and pain?

Perhaps the only thing we can do it to learn from it. To realise that our life hangs on a fragile thread, and that we should never take our loved ones for granted..

Then perhaps, if this is the lesson that we learn, then maybe their deaths, though tragic, will not be so senseless...

* * *

Living My Life...

Let me live to toil and fight;
Hate the wrong and love the right;
Stand for truth in night or day;
Cleanse all words I have to say.

Let me live to aim and rise;
Above the earth to bright blue skies;
Spread goodwill, love, unity and much more;
Take more strength in faith than before.

Let me live in peace with God;
Walk with joy wherever I may trod;
Wait for grace when goodness live;
Let me learn to truly live.

-Vish

Torture man.

My back hurts like hell...

Seriously. I can't lie down properly. Its like my whole body tenses up, and when I try to relax my body, my back seem to be protesting in agony.

It was okay yesterday, but tonight... but I think it's probably because of the bathroom misadventure.

Dunno la, I'm in pain. Like the pulsating kind of pain. Worse than period cramps.

Can't lie down, so am sleeping on my chair tonight. Sigh.

Omigod, sakitssssness...

*whimper*

Happy birthday, Sarky

When you know its love, and when it's not

You know it's love when he leans over to push the strand of hair that the wind blew into your eyes.

You know it's love when he lets you have the last 'Loh Mai Kai' in the shop - and when the guys are teasing him about the 'sacrifice'

You know it's love when he takes off his sweater for you - even if it means that he'll die of hypothermia.

You know it's love when he walks with you across the town, pushing his bike, because you forgot to bring your helmet.

You know it's love when he calls to ask for homework, although he knows that you never pay any attention in class.

You know it's love when he steals glances at you in class, and the teacher notices.

You know it's love when he let's you practice for the driving test in the brand new Camry he got for his birthday.

You know it's love when he wouldn't let anyone else, except you, touch the car, even if he knows that you're an incompetant driver.

You know it's love when he sings Mr. Big's "Just To Be With You" for you in the middle of the badminton court - in the rain.

You know it's love when he calls at night and finds out that you're not feeling well, and the next thing you know, he's there in your room, holding 2 panadol tablets and telling you to go to sleep - everything will be allright in the morning.

You know it's love when he chats with you non-stop on ICQ, on the phone, and e-mails you ceaselessly. And after the phone call, cycles from one taman away just to accompany you for walks.

You know it's love when you both can't say goodbye at night, and fall asleep on the phone, because you're both so tired.

You know it's love when he plucks the orchids in the school - and gets into trouble with the headmistress for it.

You know it's love when he breaks up with his girlfriend because he likes you more, even if you've had a boyfriend at that time.

You know it's love when he accompanies you down to KL to meet up with your then boyfriend, and gets angry when the boyfriend isn't already there waiting when you reach,

You know it's love when he gets you sunflowers, because it reminded him of you as The Flowergirl in Form 3.

You know it's love when he tells you that he first liked you because you tried to sell him sunflowers - at RM10 per stalk.

You know it's love when he actually bought 5 stalks and sent it anonymously to you.

You know it's love when he says that he doesn't care what you've done in the past - he's wiped the slate clean and what matters is here and now...and the future.

And you know it's love when he says he's willing to wait another 2 years for you to decide.

But...

You know it's not love when you cannot imagine a future with him.

You know it's not love when you wish someone else was as sweet as he is.

You know it's not love when you cannot bring yourself to love him as much as you've loved someone else.

You know it's not love when you worry about breaking his heart, but know that in the end, you'll have to.

You know it's not love when you think that you can learn to love someone, but in your heart of hearts know that you can never learn to love him as much as you loved someone else.

You know it's not love when you don't want him to wait 2 more years, because even after am eternity, you know that you'll never really love him.

* * *

Relationships are tricky.

Can you be in a relationship with someone who absolutely adores you and treats you like a princess, when you don't reciprocate the feeling? When you think of him just as a big brother, or a good friend who's always been there for you?

Would you be happy in that sort of relationship where you're loved so much. Yet somehow feel terrible that you don't return the feelings... but at the same time, you selfishly want him to continue putting you on that pedestal, because you've grown dependant on him, because you don't want to lose him.

Women are complicated.

When we love someone, we want them to care for us, we want them to worry about us, we want to know that we're constantly on their minds. We want them to hold our hands, be there to protect us from that big bad world out there, although we're armed with peppersprays and whatevernots in our handbags, and are quite capable of taking care of ourselves.

But when we don't, their care is seen as coddling, their concern would be very 'merimaskan', we think of them as sentimental fools when they tell us that we're constantly on their minds. We'd find excuses not to be so touchy-feely, and would prefer to use our pepper-sprays on them instead.

Ironic, innit?

But the thing is, can you force yourself to love someone who loves you? For security, because should anything happen to you, they'd still be there to take care of you, come hell or high water.

I can't. I'd feel horrible for stringing him along like that... and so I let him go. Because he deserves to be loved more than I ever could love him. But to be loved like that... was one of the most wonderful experience ever.

And for your birthday, Sarky... more I cannot wish you than to wish you find your love, your own true love this day.

Rude Awakenings

I swear my housemate is trying to kill me.

Was woken up at 9am by a call from Prema reminding me about my shopping date with the girls this morning. I had forgotten, so i muttered my sleepy apologies and tried to go back to sleep, in vain. Giving up, I thought I'd catch them at the City Centre and go indulge in some retail therapy together, and get my favourite home made RumRaisin ice-cream at the Barbican.

I sleepily trudged to the shower to freshen up, and let out a shocked yelp as soon as the ICE COLD water spritzed my body. My housemate had turned off the heater.

I jumped to avoid the water in the tiny cubicle of a shower stall, stepped on her leftover soap and slipped with my back on the floor, head against the walls, and my feet in the air, like a Shieldtox-ed cockroach.

Don't say bonzai kitten, this was bonzai Vish.

The worst part was, I couldn't move, as the stall was slippery from the soap, and my hands were at an angle. I tried pushing myself up, to no avail.

The shower door opened from inside, so there was no way I could open it and roll out. Note that ice cold water was pouring down on me. I couldn't breathe properly because the water kept on going into my nose and mouth, and I felt as if I was drowning.

I started to panic.

Shit man, I don't want my body to be discovered like this! What the hell, sure make headlines one, for the wrong reasons. No no no no no no.

Okay okay, calm down.

I try to wriggle around, but it was pointless. I couldn't move.

I considered yelling to my housemate and asking her to get help. But then, there were some problems:

1) the door was locked
2) I obviously wasn't wearing anything

and if she were to get help:

1) she'd have to ask the college maintenance guys to break down the door
2) they'd find me, in my birthday suit, in a most humiliating position ever

NO WAY!!!

Okay, okay, I thought to myself, there MUST be some way I get get out if this um, compromising, situation.

The floor was incredibly slippery, and I had to somehow turn it over and use that to my advantage. I tried sliding myself into an upright position, but gave up, as I kept on sliding back to my original position.

The walls were rather slippery as well, so I gingerly lifted my legs against the shower to rinse them a couple of times until the walls weren't too slippery. I pressed my feet against the walls and sort of pulled myself up, but slipped instead.

Now I was stuck in an even more awkward situation where legs and butt was against the wall, my back was hanging in the air, and my head on the floor. More water pouring into my nose and mouth.

Dear God, Jesus, Allah, Hare Krishna, Mary, Siva, Kali, please, PLEASE, I don't want to die like that, I begged. No, not like this.

Oh God, please no.

I prayed real hard. My brain was in a frenzy.

I would most certainly like to be able to roll myself over into a ball and flip over without breaking my neck, I muttered to myself.

I tried for what must have been an hour, but seemed like an eternity to me. I cried, I cursed, I laughed in manic terror, but I did everything I could think of...

... and by sheer acrobatics and 6 years of gymnastic training, and (most probably, divine interference) I managed. Don't ask me how. I don't recall how I did it. All I knew was that I was struggling, struggling for dear life, struggling to save whatever shred of pride I had left.

I quickly turned the temperature up and stood there in the shower, shaking from cold and exhaustion, tearfully thanking God that I still live to tell the story.

Introducing DJ Vish in da house!

Um. Not really. But getting there.

Signed up for a DJ-ing course at the Barbican Theatre because it seemed interesting. At least, it's something I've never tried before, and if possible, I want to always try out new things.

Life's so short, after all, we only live once.

Managed to get my timing right to switch records, you know, the transfer from one record to the other thing... But it wasn't easy. And at the end the instructor actually mixed 2 records and played them together to show us what really good DJs can do. It was awesome!

Can I, a mere music enthusiast who can't even compile a mixed cd actually get something to flow so well like that DJ? Only time will tell.

Also joined a junkband workshop. The one where they make melody from miscellaneous junk items like bins, cookware and broomsticks. Had loads of fun being crazy there. *grin*

I'm going to hang out at the Barbican Theatre more often. Its a cool community.

Oh yeah, before I forget, batistuta1000, whoever you are, thanks for the mp3s! I now have Juliet the Orange's Tangible Kind of Thing and Eyelash, Ani DiFranco, Frente, Rooney, REM and Frente. Daniel also downloaded and sent me Eyelash.

Thanks dears. I really really appreciate it.

So now I'm just looking for Fairground Attraction's Perfect and Josie and the Pussycat's You Don't See Me.

Thanks sooo much. I'm playing those songs over and over and over again. It's like getting reacquianted with an old friend.

*happy happy grin*

* * *

Oh yeah, we didn't have water this morning. Luckily no class, if not I'd have to miss class already. Yeesh. Went over to Sophie's place to mandi, had a nice chat with her as well. We were talking about a friend who was probably going to get married next year.

Sigh, wouldn't it be great to marry your first love? It would be like a dream come true. I guess some people are more fortunate than others.

Anyway, had some friends over for cake and bread. They liked it. Yeayness! Can bake more often. I don't really like eating cake, but I love baking, so it's good to have friends to feed the goodies to.

I'm so happy today. Must be the mp3s.

Thanks sooo much, Daniel and batistuta1000!

-sigh-

I love my music. I love my mp3s. The mp3s that I had lovingly downloaded and collected for years and years and years. I was terribly proud of my collection. WAS.

Because now, I only have a handful of mp3's to listen to. Because I was silly. Because I forgot to backup the mp3s I had stored in my baby when I reformatted the hard drive.

Sigh.

So if anyone is kind enough to send me a few, I'd be terribly grateful. I'll bake bread for you. Or if you don't like bread I'll bake you a cake. Chocolate cake, carrot cake, butter cake, banana cake... you just have to state your preference.

*grin*

So yeah, some of the songs I really really want. You can use YouSendIt to upload, or you can add me to your messanger and start a file transfer [vysia(at)hotmail(dot)com]

Juliet the Orange - Eyelash, Possibility, Fish, A Tangible Kind of Thing, The Days

Rooney - That Girl Has Love

Ani diFranco - As Is, Sorry I Am, (or anything else from her but I really am looking for 'As Is')

Josie and the Pussycats - You Don't See Me, Pretend To Be Nice

Fairground Attraction - Perfect

Frente - Bizarre Love Triangle

R.E.M - Everybody Hurts

The list goes on and on, but I really really miss these songs.

Oh well, at least I still have some of the Garbage, Green Day, Alanis Morissette, Smashing Pumpkins, Natalie Cole and Eagles cds I brought along with me.

Now if only my dad was more willing to part with his Led Zeppelin, Jim Morrison, Black Sabbath and AC/DC records, I'd be a whole lot happier. 2 years only also cannot... sheesh.

Sigh.

I'm so mourning the demise of my music collection.

I love bananas...

...So much so that the last time I went to Sainsburys, I bought TOO much (it was cheap, 68p for a pack of 5 bananas, so I bought 3 packs).

Ate one pack, kept the rest in the larder, and promptly forgot about them until today. The bananas were already spotty, I was a bit sick of bananas by then. So what to do...

Bake them lorr!

So just now, after the trip to Mt Edgecombe with the other International students, I promptly went to work with my "don't waste bananas, bake em!" session. One pack aside for cekodok pisang, ala bujang terlajak, and 3 bananas for kuali.com's banana cake, and another 2 bananas for a loaf of banana nut bread.

The result?

Cekodok pisang that was reminiscent of school canteen teas, a rather dense banana cake, and omigod orgasmistic banana nut bread as shown below:

Go ahead and try it. Especially the banana nut bread. It's the yummiest bread I've ever had. The recipe is so easy to follow, with illustrated step-by-step guide, it's impossible to go wrong.

It's my first attempt at baking bread, and menjadi some more. Plus you can add whatever you want in the bread as well. I love fruits and nuts, so I added loads of raisins and walnuts.

The texture is just right, not too moist, nor too dense or crumbly. I love the crispy crust. Haha, gonna bake loads of banana nut bread for my friends already. They're sure to love it. Before long, Gastronella is going to come to ME for help! *nyek*nyek*

I wasn't too happy with kuali.com's banana cake though. It was too... crumbly. The fact that I took it out of the pan before it cooled down didn't help either. And I was too impatient and tried to cut the cake while it was still warm. At any rate, the taste is still pretty good. Presentation a bit out though... Lesson learnt, never cut a cake when it's still hot.

Kacau-ed Yuen Li, as usual, before he slept. Tempted him with the goodies. Hehe, Yuen Li ah, next holiday you adopt me as your housepet okay? Then I cook for you while you keep me entertained with your special brand of dry humour yea?

Or if anyone else wants to adopt me as holiday housepet for the September hols also can...

*muka kesian ala SPCA puppy*

Hehe.

Oh, and if what Jay says is true, that success is measured by happiness, then right here, right now...

Happiness is the delicious aroma of freshly baked banana bread.

Friendster is bad for the soul

Was just looking through Friendster, when I came to a realisation that whoah, my friends have turned into beauties.

One notable thing is that, Lai Yi won runner up for Miss Malaysia Universe, and Jessy is now a freelance model. And the other girls... well, they've grown to be very very very beautiful.

It came as quite a shock, pretty much because well, I've seen them during our gawky teenage years, gangly and all angles and no shape. Or babyfat tubby. Or with mean looking braces. And now.... whoah, they're so gorgeous they took my breath away.

Tell me la, how can my eyes not turn green, and green slime not ooze out of every pore of my body? Jelesnyerrr... model, beauty queens, air stewardess, bla bla bla... and me... teacher?!

Aiyohhhh...

Come admire my chunted girlfriends.

Lai Yi... won runner up in the Miss Malaysia Universe

Jessy (the one in front, no 13)... is now doing freelance modelling.

Wei Leng... also modelling, kua

Neets... can be a model, but took to studying Law

And the silly dreamer took up teaching, hoping to be the difference that will make a difference.

I'm jeless... I'm torn between living la dolce vita, and well, contributing to society. Not that living la dolce vita isn't contributing to society la, after all it keeps the economy moving...

There are so many things I want to do with my life. Sometimes I dream of having a high flying, glamourous job that pays me a fat paycheck, be driven around in a Bentley, have 2.5 kids and a cat and live in a big bungalow with a swimming pool.

Other times I think, ah, maybe I don't want to work, spend my days having manicures and doing my hair and going for all the self advancement classes like yoga, having tea with the other taitais, having the luxury to fly anywhere in the world without having to apply for leave, be driven around in a Jaguar, and still live in a mansion not unlike Chatsworth House.

Hahaha. Fat hopes aye?

But at the end of the day, I think, what the hell a car is just a car. I don't need Ferragamo shoes to make me happy, I don't need that Dior bag or the Prada knapsack. Its not to say that I don't want it (which girl in her right mind doesn't?). But I guess I'm equally happy with okay quality Vincci shoes and and Nine Wests bags.

Ooh... but there's no end to wants. How can you really see to a goal and set priorities when there's so many things that comes along the way to tempt you? When your naturally kiasu streak comes out, and you see your friends seemingly more successful than you are?

How do we measure success anyway?

Is it by the cars you have, or how fat your paycheck is, or whether you can afford all that status symbols that show the world that you are, indeed, successful enough to afford all those?

Or is it by the people you help along the way, the satisfaction you get when seeing a child break into a big happy smile once he gets an answer correct? How do you show these things? How would people know that you're successful?

Then it boils down to whether they need to know if you're successful... is the person you are good enough, or do you still need something to show that you've achieved something?

And maybe you do.

Because like it or not, the world isn't exactly Thomas Moore's Utopia. Like it or not, books are more often than not, judged by its cover.

Am I not the apple of your eyes?

Today is good mascara day.

Seem to be on "serangan mata bersinar-sinar" mode. Seem like all the guys in the universe waiting in line to wait on me. Heh.

*flutters lashes*

Must be the super duper good mood brought on by reading and giggling to myself like a convent schoolgirl on heat reading Super Jay's Super Duper Post! at bloody 2 a.m. in the morning.

And I dreamt that Mr Boyfriendman came to save me. I've been touched by the Boyfriendman! I've basked in the glow of his presense! I've worshipped the ground he swaggers upon!

Which is prolly why today, with a flurry of fluttery lashes, I've managed to entrall two Hongkie guys, Edwin and Ming, black-widow like, to tag along to Asda with me and carry my groceries! Wheehee.

And prolly why, Daniel suddenly brought up the subject of music, and mentioned one of the songs I've been so crazy about, James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" and sent me the mp3. La la la... no more cheating by opening TheLostCodger's blog and leaving the browser on so that the song plays over and over again. That was so sad man...

Tulah, stay in Plymouth, no record store in sight. Amazon has been making lots of profit off me. Sigh. I so so so want Ani DiFranco and Frente's albums! Oh god, my album want-list is growing by the day. Damn sad.

So yeah, happy today.

We should have good mascara days more often. The world would be a better place, with more people waiting on chin kum siu jies like me.

Women happy, men also happy.

Then we can all join hands and sing together.

*bimbotic grin*