By golly!

I've been cooking a whole lot yesterday. Take a peek at the scrumtious delicacies I cooked and had for lunch, tea and dinner yesterday. Yummy innit?

Yes, in case you're wondering, those green little pods are indeed petai aka stink beans.

Sungguh tak sangka can get petai here.

So happy.

I absolutely love petai. Ask any of my friends, they can attest to that. I'm prolly the Petai Queen if there ever was one. Don't care if its stinky, it's got a comfort factor that makes me feel loved.

Everytime I go back to Taiping, my mom would painstakingly go around searching for these little treasures and somehow manage to find them even if they're not in season.

She'll lovingly prepare fresh sambal and buy king prawns to cook up the dish for me, served with steamed white rice. Heavenly.

Sigh, a mother's love.

Everytime my siblings see my mom buying petai, they'd immediately ask, "Ma, jiejie [big sister] coming home issit?"

I miss my mummy.

omigod i'm so emo now, thinking of her makes my eyes water.

Nevermind, I shall be strong. Promise myself I'll make her proud of me, make all her sacrifices somehow seem worthwhile.

Sigh.

I love you mummy
because you've always been there for me
to kiss the pain for the wounded knee away,
to soothe the pain of the broken heart.

I love you mummy,
because you always have a knack
of knowing if I've had a bad day
of calling at moments when I need you the most.

I love you mummy,
because you've been oh so strong
in handling the adversities life throws at you
in coming out a winner, time and time again.

I love you mummy,
because... because...
I love you, mummy -
just because.

* * *

Ma, I so miss you.

I miss your cooking, I miss staying up the whole night talking to you, I miss your jokes, the way you like to say that I make your toes giggle, the way we exchange beauty tips.

I miss helping you masak in the kitchen. Nevermind if its just to stir the food. And that you never ask me to do the dishes because you know how much I hate that chore.

I miss shopping trips with you, having just to pick and choose what I want and let you pay for it. One day, the time will come for your turn to pick and choose and let me pay for whatever you want. I miss visiting the Shisheido counter with you, the facials, the massages. I miss massaging your knotted back and your temples after you've had a rough day at work.

I even miss your screaming and banging your foot on the imaginary brake on the passenger side when you taught me how to drive.

I admire how you almost singlehandedly raised the 4 of us. I can't even take care of myself properly and to think you were already married and had me at this age.

I admire the way you made sure we never missed out on oppurtunities. How you made me go for this lesson, that class, everything. I hated it then, now I know you wanted us to have the best there was to offer. I also admire the way you made sure we never missed any school activities. Even if it meant that you have to go off at your much need half an hour break to send me to school. Even if it meant that all you have for sustanence is just some crackers and water on the go.

Things that I took for granted, things I never appreciated. Oh, how I treasure them now.

Words can never express how thankful I am. No, words are too cheap for that. Mom, someday soon, I'll show you how grateful I am.

I know I've never said this before, but... I love you, mom.

Just because.