Dough, Moolah and Ching Ching

Me, backwards, 5 years ago. Heh.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Vysia Yong 
Date: Fri, Apr 15, 2005 at 12:29 AM
Subject: Dough, Moolah and Ching-Ching.
To: sun_childe@yahoo.com


I have been overspending since I laid foot in KL. My credit card
should have melted by now. But it really ain't my fault. Everywhere I
go I see the words ' Sale', 50% off etc. Its like crack to a druggie.

It doesn't help that KL is so consumer oriented. KL folk go to malls
to do non-shopping activities such as eat, watch movies, bowl ( not
that I ever do) etc. Even groceries are bought in malls.
So I frequent malls well... frequently. Even when I have no intention to shop.

But come on, how can I walk around in a shopping mall without feeling
the inexplicable urge to buy something. Its so hard and I'm sure many
of you can attest to that. Whether or not you give in to temptation of
course is a completely different thing entirely.
I, shopoholic extraordinaire, of course plead guilty on all charges of
compulsive overspending.

It does scare me you know. I worry constantly that when I grow up and
get a job ( only a couple of short years away!!!), I will suffer
withdrawal symptoms. Everyone knows a fresh grad gets pittance pay
initially. With income tax its a little over a thousand. How the hell
am I gonna be able to shop anymore?

I'll have to pay taxes, insurance (life and car), car maintenance,
gas, food, toiletries and save! That in no way leaves room for
shopoholic spending habits. I am so so screwed.

Maybe I can not eat and shop instead. That way I'll be thin and
well-dressed! But then I may faint on a daily basis from lack of
nutrition. How gorgeous will I be huh? Splayed all over a sidewalk
with blood running down my face in an oh-so-fabulous Chanel tweed suit
with Stuart Weitzman heels. Not to mention the Gucci bag that will be
carted off by some random passerby who would probably loot rather than
help me.

The scary thing is I am not alone in my cushy predicament. With
parents having less kids these days and higher incomes than their
forefathers ( Did you know during your parents time you could get a
bun for 5 sen?), kids these days are just spoilt rotten. Okay okay. So
maybe not all of us are that spoilt but like everything else, it comes
in different degrees. Especially in urban jungles like KL where its
all about keeping up with the joneses.

How many of us who have not yet started working are constantly
spending our parents hard-earned moolah? It doesn't matter how much
your parents earn, you still spend as much as they give you. Now don't
go thinking I'm some brat who lives in her own pink world of the
overprivileged. My friends come from all echelons of society. Whats
scary is... irrespective of that, they all spend loads.

Everyone wants the latest Nokia. Guys waste money on Shisha, Dota, and
of course, alcohol. Boys are willing to blow a day's hard earned pay
on a few rounds of happy juice in some posh club. Girls are just as
bad. They buy loads of clothes, bags and accesories they most
certainly don't need etc. Lets not forget how expensive clubbing is. A
good night out would certainly cost you RM 100 at least. Considering
how many youngsters club on a weekly basis or even more so, imagine
how much that adds up to?

I am not being hypocritical because I hate that and I readily admit t
being no better than anyone else. But at least I'm conscious of it and
pretty darn worried. What about you? Have you totalled up your
expenses and drawn up a blueprint of survival in an urban jungle on a
fresh grads pay?

I didn't think so.

I've just found this email, written over 5 years ago to a very close friend...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Vysia Yong 
Date: Thu, Mar 31, 2005 at 12:34 AM
Subject: God, you were right...


Being in the city does things to you. Monstrous things. It eats into
your soul and leaves an emptiness inside. The thing is its so subtly
done that you don't notice it. And even if you do, you push it aside..
thinking that you're just trying to accomodate yourself to your
surroundings.

Get out of the city, if you will. Don't let it erode whats essentially
you. I think its done that to me, as much as I try to fight against
it. And sometimes fighting against what you think is wrong, or even
for what you stand for, is tiring, and you just wanna give up and let
yourself be swept away.

I didn't realise how much being in KL has changed me until i came
across this thing I've written in my e-journal in 2002. Thats 3 years
ago. I wish I could be like that again. I wish I could be as
idealistic. But that would mean that I'd be just as naive. You can't
have one without the other. I saw a group of kids just now, there's
just something about watching children laugh which is so
unpretentiously pure. I don't want to lose that bit of me, that
innocence. But then I realised that I've lost that a long time ago. Or
maybe I haven't. Maybe its hiding somewhere inside of me, too afraid
to come out, because I should be acting all grown up now.

Here it is, the entry:

==================
Subject: Winter of my life

I sit in front of the computer in this icebox of a
library as I type. Thoughts come and go, never
stopping long enough to make an impression. I look
around. Empty, save for a tudung-ed girl opposite me
with that intense look in her eyes.

It's been six months since I left home. Left that
warm, cosy little nest and a hoarde of wonderful
friends. And for what? A claustophobia inducing
cubicle of a room and people whom I just can't seem to
relate to?

It hardly seems worth it.

But then I remind myself to give them a chance... to
give myself a chance. I cannot expect everything to be
the same, cannot stop things from changing. Life is
about change. Things change, people change, nothing
remains constant. Perhaps the only constant thing in
life is change.

Once upon a time, I looked forward to change. Once
upon a time, I welcomed it. Change was something
exiting, something new, something to explore, a jack
in a box of surprises.

But not anymore.

There is a climax to everything, a zenith from where
everything after that goes downhill. Have I reached
that peak?

I think not.
But why does everything seem to go downhill from here?

Have I completely forgotten how to appreciate things?
Have I lost that sense of adventure that was so ME,
that was my identity? Has city life, and it's attitude
of indifference eroded whatever sensitivity I had?

I'm just another person in the faceless and nameless
crowd. Just another clone. Just another person trying
to feel in a place where all your senses are numb and
frozen.

Life seems white and barren. A vast, empty, white
field that stretches beyond the horizon.

Welcome...

Welcome to the winter of my life.

===========================

Please don't mind me, I just need to pour it all out...

I'll stop. Promise.

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Christmas just came early!

The run up to Christmas

1 1/2 months to Christmas and I've already got my outfit planned.

I tend to plan from bottom upwards and I've already got the shoes - they're gorgeous chain embellished sandals with tractor soles from Camilla Skovgaard and oh how I love them! I love them so much I'm wearing them right now as I type.

Got them in a sample sale near my office for £50. What a bargain! They looked awesome with the navy Falke tights I had on, though I might try them with a pair of deep red ones for a pop of colour and to bring them out a little.

I haven't totally decided how to wear them yet. They look so cool and edgy on their own, so I could just run with the theme and wear with skinny jeans and a biker jacket. Or I might not, and pair them up with short babydoll dresses for some contrast. We'll see.

Just seen this ad from Very.co.uk as well, and I'm thinking something along the lines of the black tiered dress that the first woman is wearing. What do you think?

Here's a hunch

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), who was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
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