For love of our country...

I just watched Patch Adams, and its really inspiring. Its about not taking things as they are, about being the difference that makes a difference. But all these, are they just idealistic dreams? But the road not taken is a long and lonely path, and not many are willing to make such a sacrifice. I don't know if I would either.

Day by day I find myself conforming more and more. I feel like a packaged product sometimes, stripped of my individuality, not really standing up for what I believe in. I feel like a sell-out sometimes. Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much, didn't think so much and just take life as it comes. But I can't, can I? Because that in itself would be the ultimate sellout.

Being away from Malaysia, being in another country really made me open my eyes to so many things. On one hand, I read the news on whats happening back home and I feel saddened. I see the difference between the way things are. Malaysia claims to be a developed nation, and yes, in terms of infrastructure and technology, it is. But we'll never really be developed until we develop the minds and hears of our people. Its sad that we have so little conscience over the environment, we don't care about the less fortunate, the disabled, the whatever challenged - are they something what we hope would go away if we pull wool over our eyes and pretend everything is fine and beautiful? To quote Marina Mahathir:

"We will never be developed until we learn to respect other people regardless of station and until we become more considerate of others. We need to think of others before ourselfves, to put ourselves in other people's shoes and learn to empathise. We might complain about the so called decadence of the developed world but then they have more facilities for the disabled and those who are needy than we do. Why is that? Perhaps because to be developed, it's just not enough to be able to build fabulous buildings and roads, you also need to develop the humanity inherent in all of us"

I read the news and I think of how petty our politicians are. Little things are blown out of proportion - little things like an advertisement to promote civic mindedness amongst lrt users. Does it matter that the protagonist was Malay? Don't they realise that the message the advertisement carries is important, and just leave it be?

And we're really becoming the laughing stock amongst so many nations with the stupid suggestion to play the national anthem before screening movies in the cinema. As Charlotte says, "Well, by all means play it as much as you want during official functions and in schools. In fact I absolutely encourage it. But in cinemas? Lets not turn respect for our national anthem into a laughing stock!"

With bigger issues being kept hidden from view, swept under the carpet, so to speak, small things are blown out of proportion. How long will it take before we realise that things must change, how long before we take a step back to look at things objectively and do something about it?

Its funny how I find it much easier I'm finding to teach the children here compared to the children back home in Malaysia. Children here are more enthusiastic to learn and don't mind questioning their teachers, as opposed to the children back home who come to you as empty vessels, waiting for you to fill them with whatever knowledge you want to, it doesn't matter to them, they were taught at home not to question, just accept. And this is something I cannot, and refuse to, accept.

Its sad, really, when we students no longer think for ourselves and wait to be spoonfed. Its even worse when these students are going to be teachers. It alarms me. What kind of teachers are teaching my brothers? What kind of teachers are going to teach my children? Its a 10 year gap between me and my brother, and yet I remember being a lot more advanced than he is now. Kids these days, they're exposed to so many things, yet at the same time they're not exposed enough. Sigh..

There are many things I'll never completely agree with, many things I want to change, but cannot. But at the same time, ashamed and saddened as I am about the way things are, I can feel the pride when the name 'Malaysia' rolls of my tongue. Good or bad, I love Malaysia and am very proud to be Malaysian. I hope that one day I will truly achieve something that would make Malaysia proud to call me her daughter.