Mortality

I am shamefully selfish.

Amidst two deaths of loved ones of the people closest to me, I cry over the fact that my laptop is gone.

I don't mourn people, instead I mourn some inanimate object that can easily be replaced with money (which I, unfortunately, don't have).

As I was walking behind the casket bearing Will's grandma's body with his family, I felt really sad that they had lost someone near and dear to them. But that night, as I lay down to sleep, I thought of my laptop, thought of all the what ifs and if only, cursing the fact that the only day I leave it downstairs is the day that they happened to break into my place, and if only I insured my laptop instead of my phone.

After I got the news that Sue Yen's brother just passed away in a freak accident, I continued on with my day, yes, feeling a bit sorry that he had died, yet still able to enjoy my day trip to St Ives, lounging by the beach and swimming with the gals.

Life for others doesn't stop when death comes and takes one away.

Its almost scary.

After you die, people will still go on about their businesses, still regret the thing they did or did not do, still worry about the bills, still enjoy their time with their friends, still eat that scrumptious blueberry cheesecake and plan dinner parties.

It's almost as if it doesn't make much of a difference.

Is this all there is, work and struggle through life, go through joys and sadness... go through a whole lifetime's journey... and it ends, just like that?