"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Oh please don't take my sunshine away"
Today was the first day of the final exams. As I walked into the class, tired and lethargic from lack of sleep, worried because I didn't touch my books at all, Tee Wei came from behind me singing the song. He smiled at me while I just looked at him with half closed eyes, waving his peace sign while singing. I laughed. That song has been sung by a lot of people for me, including Jeremy. It was early in the morning and we were the only ones in the class then.
We sat there together, just Tee Wei and I, laughing and singing happily. The sky was dark, it has been raining so heavily these days - reflecting the mood I was in the last few days.
"Vys, haha, Sunshine's finally coming out of the clouds, huh?" he said with a huge goofy grin.
I leaned over and ruffled his hair, "Yeah, about time, too!" I grinned and laughed.
"You sound really happy today, what's the good news?" he asked with a wink.
"Nothing, just happy, for no reason. Okay there is a reason. I suddenly feel so free, you know, as if the broken wings I've been trailing all along...not say recovered completely, but they're good enough to fly with."
I smiled. He smiled. There was silence in the class. And then Kah Kit and Steven came in.
"Here we come to ruin your date!!" they chorused. Mighty mice.
We laughed. "What date?" we said together. When we noticed that we said the same thing at the same time, we looked at each other and laughed.
"Wah, Vys very happy today, huh?" Steven said to Kah Kit. He wriggled his eyebrows and asked, "Why?"
"No reason. Just happy to have friends like you guys." I shrugged.
"Ah...you'll be happier still - later!" Kah Kit hinted. I raised an eyebrow and he just shrugged. "Later!"
Slowly, one by one, my classmates began streaming in. And when all the guys were already there, they covered my eyes and led me to the empty 'makmal' next to my class. In the spirit of sportingness, I let them lead me to the class blindfolded.
"Weii...what you guys planning to do, arr? Full monty?" they laughed so loudly that it probably scared all the ghosts there in the room.
"Just wait" someone said. It sounded a lot like Kim Loy, but I'm not sure.
"Okay, why am I waiting? Why am I waiting?" I chanted.
"Okay, now uncover her eyes" Chia Chun ordered. It sounded distant.
And so Tee Wei uncovered my eyes. I beheld a sight to be seen - no, no full monty, unfortunately, but more like the guys holding up a banner that said, "Please don't take our sunshine away". They were so sweet. I was so touched that I sobbed. Big, fat tears of gratitude and love for them rolled down as they sang the "You Are My Sunshine" song. Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. It was just me and them, there in the class, singing together, time seemed to stop just for the moment. Nevermind that the banner was hastily made and far from perfect, nevermind that they were out of tune. It was them taking the effort to plan something like that to lift my spirits up that really mattered.
All of them hugged me. I hugged them back and thanked them for everything - taking the time to plan that although it was exam time, for just being there for me, although they didn't know what the matter was. After all the tears had been shed, I sheepishly grinned at them and they grinned back, and then suddenly all of them grabbed me and lifted me up above their heads. Fortunately I was wearing my baju kurung. I giggled. It was exhilarating.
The girls came in later. They carried with them cakes and drinks for breakfast. We all ate with such gusto. And then Bee Khuan and Shy Lee and Sook Mei gave me a small package, wrapped in blue. I was asked to open it, and I did. I was amazed when I saw what it was. It was a Nike junior analog watch. Funky and stylish. I remember going out with them the other day, seeing the watch and saying that I wanted to buy it next month when my dad comes back, because it was expensive, about RM170. And they actually bought it for me! Attached to the watch is a card that read, "Time is precious, don't waste it on things not worth your time". I smiled and promised them and myself that I wouldn't. And meant it...
And then we sang Sky Wu's song, "Fen Xiang". It was the theme song for our class. Thanks, Jeremiah, for the translations, and to Taka for looking for the mp3 and sending it to me. Here's the translation:
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Oh please don't take my sunshine away"
Today was the first day of the final exams. As I walked into the class, tired and lethargic from lack of sleep, worried because I didn't touch my books at all, Tee Wei came from behind me singing the song. He smiled at me while I just looked at him with half closed eyes, waving his peace sign while singing. I laughed. That song has been sung by a lot of people for me, including Jeremy. It was early in the morning and we were the only ones in the class then.
We sat there together, just Tee Wei and I, laughing and singing happily. The sky was dark, it has been raining so heavily these days - reflecting the mood I was in the last few days.
"Vys, haha, Sunshine's finally coming out of the clouds, huh?" he said with a huge goofy grin.
I leaned over and ruffled his hair, "Yeah, about time, too!" I grinned and laughed.
"You sound really happy today, what's the good news?" he asked with a wink.
"Nothing, just happy, for no reason. Okay there is a reason. I suddenly feel so free, you know, as if the broken wings I've been trailing all along...not say recovered completely, but they're good enough to fly with."
I smiled. He smiled. There was silence in the class. And then Kah Kit and Steven came in.
"Here we come to ruin your date!!" they chorused. Mighty mice.
We laughed. "What date?" we said together. When we noticed that we said the same thing at the same time, we looked at each other and laughed.
"Wah, Vys very happy today, huh?" Steven said to Kah Kit. He wriggled his eyebrows and asked, "Why?"
"No reason. Just happy to have friends like you guys." I shrugged.
"Ah...you'll be happier still - later!" Kah Kit hinted. I raised an eyebrow and he just shrugged. "Later!"
Slowly, one by one, my classmates began streaming in. And when all the guys were already there, they covered my eyes and led me to the empty 'makmal' next to my class. In the spirit of sportingness, I let them lead me to the class blindfolded.
"Weii...what you guys planning to do, arr? Full monty?" they laughed so loudly that it probably scared all the ghosts there in the room.
"Just wait" someone said. It sounded a lot like Kim Loy, but I'm not sure.
"Okay, why am I waiting? Why am I waiting?" I chanted.
"Okay, now uncover her eyes" Chia Chun ordered. It sounded distant.
And so Tee Wei uncovered my eyes. I beheld a sight to be seen - no, no full monty, unfortunately, but more like the guys holding up a banner that said, "Please don't take our sunshine away". They were so sweet. I was so touched that I sobbed. Big, fat tears of gratitude and love for them rolled down as they sang the "You Are My Sunshine" song. Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. It was just me and them, there in the class, singing together, time seemed to stop just for the moment. Nevermind that the banner was hastily made and far from perfect, nevermind that they were out of tune. It was them taking the effort to plan something like that to lift my spirits up that really mattered.
All of them hugged me. I hugged them back and thanked them for everything - taking the time to plan that although it was exam time, for just being there for me, although they didn't know what the matter was. After all the tears had been shed, I sheepishly grinned at them and they grinned back, and then suddenly all of them grabbed me and lifted me up above their heads. Fortunately I was wearing my baju kurung. I giggled. It was exhilarating.
The girls came in later. They carried with them cakes and drinks for breakfast. We all ate with such gusto. And then Bee Khuan and Shy Lee and Sook Mei gave me a small package, wrapped in blue. I was asked to open it, and I did. I was amazed when I saw what it was. It was a Nike junior analog watch. Funky and stylish. I remember going out with them the other day, seeing the watch and saying that I wanted to buy it next month when my dad comes back, because it was expensive, about RM170. And they actually bought it for me! Attached to the watch is a card that read, "Time is precious, don't waste it on things not worth your time". I smiled and promised them and myself that I wouldn't. And meant it...
And then we sang Sky Wu's song, "Fen Xiang". It was the theme song for our class. Thanks, Jeremiah, for the translations, and to Taka for looking for the mp3 and sending it to me. Here's the translation:
"Choices are made as time goes by/ True friends are revealed/ Sometimes when we meet, I feel a stab of pain/ Once upon a time we shared a dream/ There aren't enough words to describe our feelings/ Maybe we think too much at times, but there are many decisions to be made/ We worry we'll do the wrong thing, we might end up dissappointed/ Fortunately we've been together for a long time/ Having shared happiness with you is better than being alone/ I'm still touched till today. *Best friends are like open windows, they let us see many things/ Best friends are like open doors, they broaden your horizons..."
Friends are such wonderful gifts. I cannot imagine my life without close friends. No matter where I go, somehow somewhere I'd find such friends, it seems. I despaired in finding such great friends after F5 when most of my best friends and classmates left to continue their studies in various colleges. I thought that no others could replace the friendships that I'd lost. And I'm glad to say that I was wrong about it all. I am ashamed at the way I sometimes treat my friends, when I sometimes lose my temper or become sarky around them, or impatient. But I'm also happy with the way I treat my friends most of the time. I'm glad that I've always been there for them whenever they needed me, I'm glad to help shoulder the responsibility they have, to help out where I can, I'm glad to be a friend to them. I've learnt a lot about friendship during my teen years. My pre-teen years were spent alone and friendless. And there is a vast difference between being alone and having friends. I'd choose having friends above most things.
Sometimes I just sit and wonder what I've ever done to deserve such wonderful friends - I don't have the most stellar character, I'm not the greatest friend, I can be nasty and mean at times, I can be ridiculously absurd and more stubborn than a mule. In short, I'm not the most perfect person in the world. I do strive towards it, but I'm just not perfect, I may never be perfect. But I guess it doens't work that way - sometimes you're loved because of your weaknesses. What you can't do is sometimes more compelling than what you can.
What have I ever done to deserve such good friends? At least with them I could have done something that made their day, something that wrote my name in their hearts. Maybe love and friendship cannot be explained. It can't be. Because Jesus died for everyone, even those he didn't know. Even for those who hated him, hurt him, spit on him. Who would give their life, willingly suffer for someone who doesn't appreciate you? Not me. But Jesus did all these and more. He was tortured, nailed to the cross, pierced and whipped - and for what? For whom? For you and me. Sinners, tainted and guilty of many wrongs, undeserving. And it really humbles me when I think about it. His love so perfect, that when he was abused and beaten, whipped and tortured, he didn't strike back, even when he could. He just took it all patiently. And he forgave. He forgave them - because they didn't know what they were doing. He forgave the ones what hurt him the most.
But forgiveness doesn't come easy. Sometimes I wonder how Jesus can forgive. I'm not the most forgiving person in the world. I still harbour grudges from more than 5 years ago, I still don't like the person although he repeatedly apologised to me, even when I've forgotten what exactly he that made me so angry with him. He didn't even hurt me, and yet here I am, thinking of him with such disdain. I still cannot forgive my ex-bestfriend for backstabbing me. I still cannot forgive someone who hurt me so much. But what of Jesus? We hurt him by doing all sorts of things. And yet he still forgives. He still forgives.
And his love is unconditional. No matter what you do, no matter how much you've hurt him, you know that one day you can still run to him and he'll accept you, unconditionally. And he'd wipe the tears from your face, clean up the infected wounds, and take you in. His love is so perfect that it shames me when I think about how petty I can be. God is love. If friends can be so wonderful, what more our Father in heaven who made us, breathed into us life and loves us?
There's something so secure about how God will never turn us away, how he'll never ignore us when we call out to him, how he'll always take us in, nurse us, and then let us out again, saying, "Go... and sin no more".
There's something wonderful about faith and hope. Faith in God, hope in Good. I put hope in the goodness in the human heart, I think that deep inside, everyone is good, kind and well, nice. It's only circumstances and how they react to it that makes them bitter and hard or cynical for the matter. And hope is a constant companion in this life. It is the one thing that neither cruel nature, God, nor other men can wrench away from us. Health, wealth, parents, beloved siblings, friends, the past, the future - all can be stolen from us as easily as an unguarded purse. But our greatest treasure, hope, remains. It is a sturdy little motor within, purring, ticking, driving us on when reason would suggest surrender. It is the most pathetic and the noblest thing about us, the most absurd and the most admirable quality we posess; for as long as we have hope we also have that capacity for love, for caring, for decency.And thats kinda what I like about hope. "Hope is the pillar that holds the world, hope is the dream of a waking man."
Hope, faith and friendship is, to me, the sunshine of my day...
===============
Ps: Not a very well organised piece - jumped a lot from one subject to another. But it's just something I wrote to sort myself out a little.
Friends are such wonderful gifts. I cannot imagine my life without close friends. No matter where I go, somehow somewhere I'd find such friends, it seems. I despaired in finding such great friends after F5 when most of my best friends and classmates left to continue their studies in various colleges. I thought that no others could replace the friendships that I'd lost. And I'm glad to say that I was wrong about it all. I am ashamed at the way I sometimes treat my friends, when I sometimes lose my temper or become sarky around them, or impatient. But I'm also happy with the way I treat my friends most of the time. I'm glad that I've always been there for them whenever they needed me, I'm glad to help shoulder the responsibility they have, to help out where I can, I'm glad to be a friend to them. I've learnt a lot about friendship during my teen years. My pre-teen years were spent alone and friendless. And there is a vast difference between being alone and having friends. I'd choose having friends above most things.
Sometimes I just sit and wonder what I've ever done to deserve such wonderful friends - I don't have the most stellar character, I'm not the greatest friend, I can be nasty and mean at times, I can be ridiculously absurd and more stubborn than a mule. In short, I'm not the most perfect person in the world. I do strive towards it, but I'm just not perfect, I may never be perfect. But I guess it doens't work that way - sometimes you're loved because of your weaknesses. What you can't do is sometimes more compelling than what you can.
What have I ever done to deserve such good friends? At least with them I could have done something that made their day, something that wrote my name in their hearts. Maybe love and friendship cannot be explained. It can't be. Because Jesus died for everyone, even those he didn't know. Even for those who hated him, hurt him, spit on him. Who would give their life, willingly suffer for someone who doesn't appreciate you? Not me. But Jesus did all these and more. He was tortured, nailed to the cross, pierced and whipped - and for what? For whom? For you and me. Sinners, tainted and guilty of many wrongs, undeserving. And it really humbles me when I think about it. His love so perfect, that when he was abused and beaten, whipped and tortured, he didn't strike back, even when he could. He just took it all patiently. And he forgave. He forgave them - because they didn't know what they were doing. He forgave the ones what hurt him the most.
But forgiveness doesn't come easy. Sometimes I wonder how Jesus can forgive. I'm not the most forgiving person in the world. I still harbour grudges from more than 5 years ago, I still don't like the person although he repeatedly apologised to me, even when I've forgotten what exactly he that made me so angry with him. He didn't even hurt me, and yet here I am, thinking of him with such disdain. I still cannot forgive my ex-bestfriend for backstabbing me. I still cannot forgive someone who hurt me so much. But what of Jesus? We hurt him by doing all sorts of things. And yet he still forgives. He still forgives.
And his love is unconditional. No matter what you do, no matter how much you've hurt him, you know that one day you can still run to him and he'll accept you, unconditionally. And he'd wipe the tears from your face, clean up the infected wounds, and take you in. His love is so perfect that it shames me when I think about how petty I can be. God is love. If friends can be so wonderful, what more our Father in heaven who made us, breathed into us life and loves us?
There's something so secure about how God will never turn us away, how he'll never ignore us when we call out to him, how he'll always take us in, nurse us, and then let us out again, saying, "Go... and sin no more".
There's something wonderful about faith and hope. Faith in God, hope in Good. I put hope in the goodness in the human heart, I think that deep inside, everyone is good, kind and well, nice. It's only circumstances and how they react to it that makes them bitter and hard or cynical for the matter. And hope is a constant companion in this life. It is the one thing that neither cruel nature, God, nor other men can wrench away from us. Health, wealth, parents, beloved siblings, friends, the past, the future - all can be stolen from us as easily as an unguarded purse. But our greatest treasure, hope, remains. It is a sturdy little motor within, purring, ticking, driving us on when reason would suggest surrender. It is the most pathetic and the noblest thing about us, the most absurd and the most admirable quality we posess; for as long as we have hope we also have that capacity for love, for caring, for decency.And thats kinda what I like about hope. "Hope is the pillar that holds the world, hope is the dream of a waking man."
Hope, faith and friendship is, to me, the sunshine of my day...
===============
Ps: Not a very well organised piece - jumped a lot from one subject to another. But it's just something I wrote to sort myself out a little.
Pss: Written a long time ago - 11 Oct 2001... just thot I'd post it up to remind me to appreciate the friends I have.
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