Shifting to first gear

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was his response. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'
- Lewis Caroll

It's been over a year since I've started my new life in London.

I feel exactly like what Alice must have felt in Wonderland. Lost. Directionless.

Apathetic, thinking that it doesn't matter.

I thought just having a well paying (but dead end) job would make me happy; work to live, so to speak.

But after awhile in the job, I absolutely hated it. Every day I woke up hitting the snooze button over and over again wishing I didn't have to wake up. I had to be a simpering kissass on the job and listen to words that killed my spirit.

I want a career. I want challenge and fulfilment. I want targets to push myself to achieve. I want to learn and grow and make a positive contribution to society.

But it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then

I've learnt the hard way that if you stop, you rot.

I've stopped running and fallen off the threadmill. I need to get up and start running again. Harder, harder... harder than any one else.

There's a lot of catching up to do.

But I'll do it.

Promise.