Scotland

those are random pictures of Edinburgh and St Andrews. Scotland is amazingly beautiful. It's probably one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to, no kidding. St Andrews Cathedral with its graveyards was... surreal and haunting, to say the least. I loved it there.


Thats Monica and Lidia, the polish couple I was talking about. They're super cool. I haven't gotten around emailing them as yet... I keep on reminding myself to, but I will, soon. I miss the times we'd just hang around at the dining hall at Belford talking about our travels, about the people we meet, about the people we love. We come from different backgrounds, we were raised differently, but funny how we see things the same way, funny how we feel the same.

Rambut tak sama hitam, tapi dalam hati quite the sama.

Hrm...

I finally met up with K. The first guy I kissed.

Maybe I was young and smitten then. Maybe I've changed. Maybe I'm not so impressionable and easily impressed by the 'I'm titled and I come from a posh public school and I'm doing an exchange programme at MCKK' image anymore.

He's a nice chap, he is. But I didn't like the way he dissed his own friends. I didn't like the way he talked about Dzul being a 'fairy', I didn't like the way he belittled others. Its really not what he said but more the way he said them. He may treat me like a princess, but if he's going to talk about his own friends that way... sorry but I have no respect for that.

Its funny that I actually waited 5 years to actually see him again. Counting the years, the months, the days... wondering what it would be like. Playing the 'what-if' scene in my head. Remembering him through the eyes of the 17 year old me, with only memories of the 3 months we had together. Perhaps I embellish my memories. Perhaps I choose to remember what I want to remember. But I never expected to face someone who was almost a stranger after 5 years. We didn't think the same way, didn't agree on the same things, we just didn't gel. He wasn't the K I remembered. He didn't even look like the K I remembered.

I guess its not a unique sentiment. How often do we remember things with such fondness, only to re-experience it and never be able to recapture what our memories had so elevated?

We said our goodbyes at the end of the day, and we promised to keep in touch.

But as I walked away I had a heavy feeling in my heart. A dull ache, a sadness for my memory of K that is lost to me forever...