If there's one good side effect of the London blasts it's probably renewed ties amongst friends.
Been receiving emails and chatting with people whom I've never spoken to in years/months. And my oh my, so many things have been happening in my friends' lives since.
3 secondary school classmates are getting engaged towards the end of this year and getting married beginning of next year.
And Yen is also *probably* going to get engaged next year and move to Canada to be with her dahlink.
One primary school friend won first runner up in the Miss Malaysia competition, congratulations, Lai Yi! I always thought she was one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen since we were in Standard 5. She looks a whole lot better than in the picture though...
A couple whom we thought would be together forever, since they've been together since forever anyway, have split.
Almost all of my friends have graduated and are currently working/looking for jobs or are in the midst of doing their Masters/PhDs.
*sigh*
And what about me, they ask.
What about, huh?
I'm still in the second year of my undergraduate studies...
I have a non-existant love life. I do, however, have a good circle of friends and am currently enjoying life in the UK.
But thats not enough, is it?
"So... any British guys ah? Wah, come back with angmoh, your children sure very cute one!"
*sigh* If I had a penny...
Why must conversations always have to center around my love life? Are you not interested in my current hobbies/travels/plans for the future?
Yes of course I feel lonely sometimes, of course theres nothing wrong with me/the way I look/how I am. And maybe I *am* being choosy.
Is it all that wrong, to hold out until someone right comes along instead of going for the first person that catches my fancy?
Yes I know there are people who do like me, who would wait for me, even, should I just say the word. But I'm not interested in them. Why? Because I cannot imagine a future with them. Do I have to settle for something thats not good enough, just because its something, and something is better than nothing? And I don't want to string someone along just for the sake of 'having someone', it wouldn't be fair to the both of us.
Whats the worst that can happen?, they ask.
To be with someone else when the right one comes along.
And so I'm holding out until the right one comes along. Someone whom I know I'll love, and who'll love me just as wholly. Someone I can grow old with. Someone who is at the same 'wavelength' as I am. With whom I'd enjoy decent conversations with when we've grown so old that cannot see clearly anymore.
And if I don't meet that kind of person, I'm prepared to live my life alone. I've got a solid circle of friends, I've got things to do in life, I'm pretty much financially independant, and I'd like to think I've got a good head on my shoulders. I know how to change the tyres on my car, and yes, I've unclogged a sink before and repaired a broken flush (thank God for Mrs Ong's Kemahiran Hidup (literally = living skills) classes!).
Besides, I'd rather be alone than live with someone I find it difficult to live with. I know what its like to live with a hostile roommate. Believe me its not an experience I'd like a re-run version of.
"Wait you reach 25 then you'll know, that time I'd love to see you eat humble pie"
What, you think I'm being unrealistic here?
On the contrary. I think I'm being too realistic.
Why? Because I know myself too well. I don't fall easily for someone, but if and when I do, I fall hard. Then come hell or high water, I'll stick with him (within certain limits-lah). And no matter how much pain I'd have to endure, I'd 'yan-ju' (cantonese for 'bear it') until I cannot yan anymore.
By then I'd have whittled all thats 'me' away to make it work that whats left isn't worth saving any more.
I'd rather die than settle.
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